Blog 1 - My Life
I am Katherine Moore, I am 55 years old and I am married to Anthony. We have three boys, Daniel 27, Lorcan 19 and Euan 16. Daniel lives at home and is saving to buy a place of his own, he is working in London Lorcan is at University studying Business Accounting in his second year and comes back at holiday time and is about 2.5 hours away by car. He is sharing a house with his mates and having a great time. Euan lives at home and is studying a two year course in Media studies.
Now the boys have got older we seem to have a bit more time.
My real interest is cycling, any spare time I will go for a ride on my bike, it is fantastic. I have been on some fantastic rides, including London to Paris and Lands End to John O'Groats, the total distance of the UK. I have also raised about 10K over 11 years for all different charities.
My Mom sadly died when I was only 21 and it left a massive gap for all of us, especially my Dad. I am one of five daughters. When we were younger, times were very hard for my parents as there wasn't a lot of money available. It was such a shame because we didn't have the opportunity to spoil my mom which is what she deserved.
I have been working full time for Kodak for the last 38 years, I have been very fortunate as I have had the opportunity to move around departments. They also put me through my degree which has worked out very well for me.
I am very involved in our catholic church, where we attend once a week. The boys were all brought up catholic but do not go to church now, I guess they can return one day! Through the church I am involved with a church group called St Vincent de Paul. I am secretary and manage the finances for the group. We meet fortnightly and try to visit old people in the parish, vulnerable adults or families needing support. We have about 1k a year to help the needy, I also arrange summer outings and Christmas outings, some of the people never come out of their house as they have no family or friends to visit them.
My approach to life at this stage is now "Enjoy every day - you never know what is around the corner" A very good friend who I had know for 38 years, I would class her as one of "my sisters" was diagnosed with cancer and sadly died within the year. Before she was diagnosed with cancer she was very healthy and never ill. My friend was very positive throughout her treatment and it was the first time I had lost a very good friend and I really miss her. In the past I would have got stressed over small things but now I am trying to stay positive and not let things get to me. Life is too short and who knows how long we will be here.
Chapters from the book.
1. Single Parent/Working Mother
This was a tough phase in my life, my husband walked out on the first day of playgroup and left me with a 3 year old. It was the early 90's and at that time there were non of my friends or acquaintances who had split up. I was working full time and again non of my friends returned or acquaintances returned to work after having their children.
It was hard because the money coming in was not enough to pay all the bills and I just couldn't manage. My ex husband became very bitter as he wanted to reunite but it was too late. The divorce was awful and he gave me such a hard time throughout Daniels childhood and even today he became very unpleasant to Daniel. I thought I may have to leave work as I couldn't make ends meet and the State would have provided for me. I carried on and things did improve. Daniel and I were very close and we had a lovely time together.
2. Working Mother to three lively boys
When Daniel was 6, I meet Anthony and we had Lorcan and Euan. I carried on working full time and Anthony gave up work to look after the boys. It has always been busy with the boys as they have played every sport, football, rugby, swimming, cricket, hurling, basketball, tennis and even hockey for a few weeks. I was the fixtures secretary for both of the boys football clubs, every Sunday my husband and I would go to two of the boys football games. On some Sundays we would even attend two games on the one day.
Juggling working with three boys and Anthony's support worked well. I had an occasion when I was negotiating a £3 million pound contract and I was in the supermarket with one of the boys and I was talking to the supplier on the phone.
3.Jealousy among siblings
As I mentioned earlier I have four sisters, as we were growing up, we used to argue a lot and there was a lot of fighting amongst us all. It was sad because we would argue and then four would gang up on one person. As we were getting older we seemed to get on ok but I don't think we were always honest with each other. My younger sister was very spoilt and we all rang around after her, of course, it all got too much and we fell out. Going forward 20 years, we now have a family divide, of two and two sisters together and one sitting on the fence. We have limited communication between two of the sisters. You could say it is sad but I think it caused a lot of stress and in some ways it is best not to talk.
Current Chapter
The boys are getting older and becoming much more self sufficient. It is really nice now as they are talking and it is not because they want something! The "grunting" is only coming from the younger one and that is not as much as it used to be. I am riding my bike a lot more, managing to go out at the weekend for 3-4 hours, which is wonderful. This year I cycled the longest distance in one day 185 miles in one day and I raised £1K for a local autistic charity for children.
We are managing to decrease our mortgage and are getting more financially secure which is great. Me and my husband are going out a lot more and doing things together which is very nice.
The biggest challenge is dealing with elderly parents and relatives. Sadly my mother-in-law died last month which was not expected, she wasn't ill. It will be difficult at Christmas without her as she was such a important figure head in the family. We only have my Dad and Antony's aunt left now. We will soon be classed as the older ones in the family - which is scary. What is sad about this chapter it is all going too quickly!!
If I had a magic wand I would bring my friend back and take her places we had hoped to go with her but she was never well enough to go. My friend and I wanted to take her to a Spa for the day but we never got there. My friend was never fussed about doing these things, she was happy with what she had achieved.
Next Chapter
Katherine becomes a grandmother - I would love it if it was Daniel and to see him with a girl and be settled and happy. I would be concerned if it was Lorcan or Euan as they are too young yet and need to grow up and see more of the world. If the boys were settled I would love to move to the coast or the country and just enjoy cycling and walking - sounds fantastic. We would only move away if the boys were settled and self sufficient.
I would like to retire and take it a bit easy, it is very busy at the moment and no time to enjoy the simple things in life. It is a concern about money and I would hope we will be able to fund our retirement and enjoy. It is important to me to keep health so we can enjoy our life.
I am not sure my husband would be joining me as he's not a great walker - but you never know!
My job title would be Dads special helper - I go and see Dad regularly, clean the house, go shopping and take him out. Dad does try to give me money for helping him but I never take it. Bless him he tries to offer me money for petrol when I take him out but I never want to take money off Dad.
He is my Dad and I always make sure he is safe and clean and that he has no concerns. I feel I want to help Dad as he has looked after me throughout the years.
Dad does appreciate it, it has got harder as he has got older. He doesn't always say thank you but when he does it is really good, I think sometimes he doesn't think. If I say I am busy working, he loves to hear that as he was always such a hard worker and was working on peoples gardens right into his 70's.
I think it is good for the boys as they always see my helping Dad and hopefully when my "day" comes they will look after me.
Looking after Dad is a major impact on my life as I always have to be available to help Dad with any issues he has. It is difficult due to the family dynamics as apart from the one sister I am close to the others do not see Dad very often. One of them will go once a week but the other two rarely visit Dad. It is very hard when Dad is not well as I have to go and look after him, take him to the doctor's/hospital. On these occasions he is so appreciative and pleased I help him.
If Dad gets an infection that is when things can get very difficult as he can get confused and has been known to wander the streets. Dad has been picked up by police for wandering the streets and that is a real worry.
I have to be organised if we need to go out for the day or away for the weekend or holiday to make sure Dad is being looked after.
It is tough at times but you just have to try and get on with it and not think about things too much.
I think the job title would be the same, I hope things don't change too much. I guess it will be difficult if he wasn't able to manage at home but I don't really want to think too much into the future. Dad is getting older and as the years go by he is getting frail but you can only take one day or week at a time as it could change if he was to fall. I guess Dad will leave us one day and it would be great if he went in his sleep and he didn't suffer.
Now the boys have got older we seem to have a bit more time.
My real interest is cycling, any spare time I will go for a ride on my bike, it is fantastic. I have been on some fantastic rides, including London to Paris and Lands End to John O'Groats, the total distance of the UK. I have also raised about 10K over 11 years for all different charities.
My Mom sadly died when I was only 21 and it left a massive gap for all of us, especially my Dad. I am one of five daughters. When we were younger, times were very hard for my parents as there wasn't a lot of money available. It was such a shame because we didn't have the opportunity to spoil my mom which is what she deserved.
I have been working full time for Kodak for the last 38 years, I have been very fortunate as I have had the opportunity to move around departments. They also put me through my degree which has worked out very well for me.
I am very involved in our catholic church, where we attend once a week. The boys were all brought up catholic but do not go to church now, I guess they can return one day! Through the church I am involved with a church group called St Vincent de Paul. I am secretary and manage the finances for the group. We meet fortnightly and try to visit old people in the parish, vulnerable adults or families needing support. We have about 1k a year to help the needy, I also arrange summer outings and Christmas outings, some of the people never come out of their house as they have no family or friends to visit them.
Chapters from the book.
1. Single Parent/Working Mother
This was a tough phase in my life, my husband walked out on the first day of playgroup and left me with a 3 year old. It was the early 90's and at that time there were non of my friends or acquaintances who had split up. I was working full time and again non of my friends returned or acquaintances returned to work after having their children.
It was hard because the money coming in was not enough to pay all the bills and I just couldn't manage. My ex husband became very bitter as he wanted to reunite but it was too late. The divorce was awful and he gave me such a hard time throughout Daniels childhood and even today he became very unpleasant to Daniel. I thought I may have to leave work as I couldn't make ends meet and the State would have provided for me. I carried on and things did improve. Daniel and I were very close and we had a lovely time together.
2. Working Mother to three lively boys
When Daniel was 6, I meet Anthony and we had Lorcan and Euan. I carried on working full time and Anthony gave up work to look after the boys. It has always been busy with the boys as they have played every sport, football, rugby, swimming, cricket, hurling, basketball, tennis and even hockey for a few weeks. I was the fixtures secretary for both of the boys football clubs, every Sunday my husband and I would go to two of the boys football games. On some Sundays we would even attend two games on the one day.
Juggling working with three boys and Anthony's support worked well. I had an occasion when I was negotiating a £3 million pound contract and I was in the supermarket with one of the boys and I was talking to the supplier on the phone.
3.Jealousy among siblings
As I mentioned earlier I have four sisters, as we were growing up, we used to argue a lot and there was a lot of fighting amongst us all. It was sad because we would argue and then four would gang up on one person. As we were getting older we seemed to get on ok but I don't think we were always honest with each other. My younger sister was very spoilt and we all rang around after her, of course, it all got too much and we fell out. Going forward 20 years, we now have a family divide, of two and two sisters together and one sitting on the fence. We have limited communication between two of the sisters. You could say it is sad but I think it caused a lot of stress and in some ways it is best not to talk.
Current Chapter
The boys are getting older and becoming much more self sufficient. It is really nice now as they are talking and it is not because they want something! The "grunting" is only coming from the younger one and that is not as much as it used to be. I am riding my bike a lot more, managing to go out at the weekend for 3-4 hours, which is wonderful. This year I cycled the longest distance in one day 185 miles in one day and I raised £1K for a local autistic charity for children.
We are managing to decrease our mortgage and are getting more financially secure which is great. Me and my husband are going out a lot more and doing things together which is very nice.
The biggest challenge is dealing with elderly parents and relatives. Sadly my mother-in-law died last month which was not expected, she wasn't ill. It will be difficult at Christmas without her as she was such a important figure head in the family. We only have my Dad and Antony's aunt left now. We will soon be classed as the older ones in the family - which is scary. What is sad about this chapter it is all going too quickly!!
If I had a magic wand I would bring my friend back and take her places we had hoped to go with her but she was never well enough to go. My friend and I wanted to take her to a Spa for the day but we never got there. My friend was never fussed about doing these things, she was happy with what she had achieved.
Next Chapter
Katherine becomes a grandmother - I would love it if it was Daniel and to see him with a girl and be settled and happy. I would be concerned if it was Lorcan or Euan as they are too young yet and need to grow up and see more of the world. If the boys were settled I would love to move to the coast or the country and just enjoy cycling and walking - sounds fantastic. We would only move away if the boys were settled and self sufficient.
I would like to retire and take it a bit easy, it is very busy at the moment and no time to enjoy the simple things in life. It is a concern about money and I would hope we will be able to fund our retirement and enjoy. It is important to me to keep health so we can enjoy our life.
I am not sure my husband would be joining me as he's not a great walker - but you never know!
My job title would be Dads special helper - I go and see Dad regularly, clean the house, go shopping and take him out. Dad does try to give me money for helping him but I never take it. Bless him he tries to offer me money for petrol when I take him out but I never want to take money off Dad.
He is my Dad and I always make sure he is safe and clean and that he has no concerns. I feel I want to help Dad as he has looked after me throughout the years.
Dad does appreciate it, it has got harder as he has got older. He doesn't always say thank you but when he does it is really good, I think sometimes he doesn't think. If I say I am busy working, he loves to hear that as he was always such a hard worker and was working on peoples gardens right into his 70's.
I think it is good for the boys as they always see my helping Dad and hopefully when my "day" comes they will look after me.
Looking after Dad is a major impact on my life as I always have to be available to help Dad with any issues he has. It is difficult due to the family dynamics as apart from the one sister I am close to the others do not see Dad very often. One of them will go once a week but the other two rarely visit Dad. It is very hard when Dad is not well as I have to go and look after him, take him to the doctor's/hospital. On these occasions he is so appreciative and pleased I help him.
If Dad gets an infection that is when things can get very difficult as he can get confused and has been known to wander the streets. Dad has been picked up by police for wandering the streets and that is a real worry.
I have to be organised if we need to go out for the day or away for the weekend or holiday to make sure Dad is being looked after.
It is tough at times but you just have to try and get on with it and not think about things too much.
I think the job title would be the same, I hope things don't change too much. I guess it will be difficult if he wasn't able to manage at home but I don't really want to think too much into the future. Dad is getting older and as the years go by he is getting frail but you can only take one day or week at a time as it could change if he was to fall. I guess Dad will leave us one day and it would be great if he went in his sleep and he didn't suffer.
Hello, Katherine-
ReplyDeleteWelcome and thank you for this fantastic start to your blog. I am enjoying reading about you, your career and community work, family and personal interests. Thanks for all you've shared so openly about your joys and struggles. Love the image of you negotiating that contract while at the grocery with your boys! I look forward to reading more.